So much has changed with the coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic. Stay-at-home restrictions to prevent the spread of the virus have meant that we’ve had to find new ways of working. Schools have adjusted to online classes. Socializing has been severely restricted. We’ve had to change how we shop, exercise, worship, eat out, and play.
Then, just as we thought the worst might be over, a resurgence of cases has plunged us back into uncertainty and fear. Research is showing that the pandemic is having a major psychological impact. People are experiencing more anxiety, and depression is on the increase. Not too surprising given the loss of a sense of safety. Our lives are no longer so predictable. We feel less in control. Our freedoms and security have diminished.
A reaction to the loss of our normal routines - or to the loss of hope that they might return soon - is grief. Grief is the emotional pain that comes with loss. It’s not just a normal reaction to death. We grieve when any attachment is severed. We can feel strong attachments to work and certain places and things. So, when we lose these attachments, we can experience strong emotions. This can make it hard to cope and even harder to move on. We can easily become stuck in grief because the loss was so sudden and unexpected.
There is no normal grief reaction. Everyone deals with grief in their own way but it’s common to feel numb, angry, or sad. There is often a period when sleep is impacted, you may not feel like eating, you feel weak or tired all the time. Ironically, at a time when routines can provide a sense of continuity, we have to deal with finding new ones.
If you are experiencing strong emotions, pay attention to what you’ve lost as a result of the pandemic. Maybe you’ve lost a job, your home, the opportunity to see grandchildren, a cherished family reunion, the ability to get the treatment you needed for a health condition. The losses might be big or small. They may be cumulative. Whatever you’re grieving, think about how you’ve dealt with loss before. What helped? What are your strengths? Are there specific people you can reach out to for support? Maybe you know people who are going through a similar situation. Talking to others about your experience can help you to feel supported.
If you’re struggling to make sense of a loss, try writing about it, perhaps in a journal or in an email or letter to a close friend or family member (you don’t have to send it). Expressing your true thoughts and feelings can be a cathartic experience. At the same time, try to limit how much time is spent listening to news about the pandemic. Constant reminders of what you’ve lost will only exacerbate negative feelings and fuel anxiety. If you can, try to create new routines, especially around sleep, exercise and diet. If you’ve lost your job, how can you structure your day so that you feel productive? Finally, pay close attention to any behaviors that might help you cope in the immediate term but are ultimately unhealthy. Notice if you are drinking more or relying on other substances to help get through this difficult time.
Finally, it’s important to know that you don’t have to go through this time alone. If you think it might be helpful to talk to a professional about your loss, reach out to a grief counselor or therapist. And checkout the resources on grief.com.